How do I know if I’m ready for sex? 

Mark the statements that you can easily do.

I can…

  • Talk about having sex together with my clothes (and lights) on (e.g. sitting at a table at lunch)

  • Plan in advance what I do and don’t want to do

  • Say “yes” only when I want to

  • Say “no” if I change my mind

  • Explain my decision if friends or parents ask why

  • Feel good about my decision even if I break up with my partner or my family doesn’t agree

  • Be sure it is my idea (not something I’m being pressured to do or am doing stay in the relationship)

  • Be sure I am not going to feel guilty afterward

  • Say “touch me here,” “like this,” and “not like that”

  • Have sex that relieves stress, not cause stress

  • Say things to my partner like “I think I might have herpes,” or “I think I might be pregnant”

  • Buy my own condoms without being embarrassed

  • Be the one to put on the condom correctly, myself, every time

  • Stop myself from having sex if we don’t have condoms

  • Take myself to get tested and treated for sexual infections

  • Take myself or ask my parents to take me to get birth control

  • Use my birth control correctly and get it refilled on time, every time

  • Feel comfortable deciding what to do if we get pregnant

  • Turn to a parent or a close friend if I need help

  • Feel good about my decisions, not ashamed

Total the number of statements that you marked: __________

You might be ready for sex if your total is 20.

You need to be able to do all these things easily and comfortably.  Sex is serious--it can be a healthy part of a strong relationship or it can ruin your life.

You have the right...

To say no at any time. 

If you don’t feel comfortable, don’t do it. 

To change your mind. 

Just because you may have done it before, doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.

To have healthy, safe relationships.

 This takes hard work and a commitment to protect yourself above anyone else.

To feel good about your sexual decisions.

This requires a level of maturity, honesty, and communication that is very difficult for most teens.

To have good sex.

You deserve to have sex that feels good and doesn’t cause physical or emotional pain. If it hurts, don’t do it.


Having a great relationship is complicated.

Having great sex is harder.

If you’re not sure, you’re not ready.