The Relationship Spectrum

A HEALTHY

RELATIONSHIP

AN UNHEALTHY

RELATIONSHIP

AN ABUSIVE

RELATIONSHIP

A healthy relationships means that both you and your partner are...

You may be in an unhealthy relationship if one of you is…

An abusive relationships starts when one of you...

Communicating - You talk openly about problems and listen to one another. You respect each other’s opinions.

 

Respectful - You value each other as you are.

 

Trusting - You believe what your partner says.

 

Honest - You are honest with each other but can still choose to keep certain things private.

 

Equal - You make decisions together and hold each other to the same standard.

 

Enjoying personal time - You both enjoy spending time apart and respect when one of you needs time apart.

 

Making mutual sexual choices. You talk openly about sexual choices together. You both consent to sexual activity and can talk about what is ok and what isn’t. You discuss using condoms or other birth control methods.

Not communicating - When you talk about problems you fight, or you don’t talk about them at all.

 

Disrespectful - One or both of you is not considerate of each other.

 

Not trusting - You don’t believe what your partner says.

 

Dishonest - One or both partners is telling lies.

 

Trying to take control - One or both partners feel their desires and choices are more important.

 

Feeling crowded or not spending time with others - Only spending time with your partner.

 

Pressured by the other into sexual activity - One partner tries to convince the other that they should have sex, or more sex.

 

Ignoring the consequences of sex - The partners are having consensual sex with each other but are not talking about possible consequences.

Communicates in a way that is hurtful or insulting.

 

Mistreats the other - One or both partners does not respect the feelings and physical safety of the other.

 

Accuses the other of flirting or cheating when it’s not true - The partner that accuses may hurt the other in a physical or verbal way as a result.

 

Denies that the abusive actions are abuse - They may try to blame the other for the harm they’re doing.

 

Controls the other - There is no equality in the relationship. What one partner says goes.

 

Isolates the other partner - One partner controls where the other one goes, and who the other partner sees and talks to.

 

Forces sexual activity - One partner forces the other to have sex.